Resources for Common Problems

Relationship Difficulties

Healthy relationships contribute significantly to a person’s health and well-being. But many struggle to experience the kind of connection they long for. Some come to therapy to figure out what to do about a troubled relationship. Others come to understand why they have difficultly staying in a relationship. Some come alone to work out relationship issues, and some come with a spouse, life-partner, family member or friend. Take the relationship quiz.

Constant Worrying—Inability to Sleep

This may be an indication of high anxiety. When anxiety runs too high, you may have trouble falling asleep, dwell on a particular situation and find it difficult to think of something else, feel tense and restless, or have trouble concentrating. In addition to providing immediate relief through specific techniques and exercises, we will look for the root causes of your anxiety, which will help bring longer term relief. Learn more about anxiety.

Loss of Energy & Drive

This may be a sign of high stress and fatigue, or it may be a sign of depression. Depression is a state that affects the body, mood, and thoughts. It often affects the way you eat and sleep, the way you feel about yourself, and the way you think about things. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or even years. Most people find significant relief from depression through therapy. Still unsure? Take the depression self-test.

Difficulty Managing Anger

Uncontrollable anger is sign of distress. Anger management therapy (i.e. identifying triggers, thought changing, problem solving, etc.) can provide some immediate relief. However, sometimes uncontrollable anger indicates underlying issues. For men in particular, it could be a sign of depression. Recently we’ve learned that men and women often experience depression differently. For example, men may not experience the “down” feelings that many women experience. Instead they tend to externalize their feelings through anger or other expressive behaviors, which is a way of creating emotional equilibrium. Read more on male depression.

Difficulty Controlling Certain Behaviors

Researchers estimate that millions of people struggle with compulsive behavior in their everyday lives. These behaviors provide an escape from feelings that are uncomfortable or painful. These include behaviors like smoking, overeating, overworking, drinking, shopping, dieting, gambling, and incessant sexual activity, what some speak of as “sex addiction.” Therapy provides a safe way to explore underlying issues thereby decreasing the need for the unwanted behavior.

Job Distress

This affects many women and men, particularly in today’s uncertain economy. Job stress is closely linked to family problems, marital/relationship problems, and other behavioral problems. Some find support through family and friends. Others find the needed support through therapy.

Loss & Grief

The single most important factor in working through loss is having the emotional support of others. Grief is a normal part of life, but it can be debilitating. Learn more about loss and grief.

An Overall Feeling of Being Stuck

Feeling stuck often arises when dealing with a life-transition of some sort. Here are some common life transition points:

  • Mid-to-late 20s.   This is a time when men and women face major life issues and decisions like career direction, relationship needs and commitments, the desire for increased financial freedom and autonomy from parents, the loss of community once college has been completed, and the anxiety that comes when moving toward living on one’s own.
  • Mid-to-late 30s.   This is a time when women in particular face questions around starting a family, finding a reliable spouse or partner, balancing career and family, and a myriad of other questions around life-goals and life-purpose.
  • Mid-to-late 40s and early 50s.   This is a time of difficulty for men as many find themselves facing concerns involving job/career issues, marriage issues, and an overall frustration with things as they are. These years can be difficult for women as well due to significant changes occurring in them, like bodily changes, role changes, or marriage changes.
  • Late 60s to early 70s.   This can be a difficult time for men and women as they begin to face their mortality. Many at this stage of life don’t want to bother their children or friends with their concerns. Instead they are likely to isolate themselves and some may slip into a depression. More and more older adults are finding significant relief by talking regularly with a therapist.

Disturbing or Frightening Memories

These are often signs of trauma. They may be symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (ptsd). ptsd is a type of anxiety that is triggered by a past trauma that either threatened one’s sense of safety or left one feeling helpless. The trauma may or may not be remembered. Read more on ptsd.

Concerns About Parenting or Child Behavior

These concerns bring many single parents and couples into therapy. Helping parents learn effective parenting strategies and techniques is an important part of my practice. My training at the Adler School, home of renowned parenting expert Rudolf Druikers (step program), provides a solid foundation for my work in this area. Parenting techniques organized around themes such as “using your emotions as tools,” “positive discipline,” and “understanding the goals of misbehavior,” have proven helpful to many parents.

“People say that what we are seeking is a meaning of life. I don’t think this is what we’re really seeking. I think what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive.”
Joseph Campbell

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes.”
Walt Whitman

“Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations.”
Alfred Adler

“I believe that every person is born with talent.”
Maya Angelou